The Art of Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the feeling of certainty that natural inner resource that you can summoned whenever you want it to accomplish a certain goal or purpose. You may currently believe that self-confidence is the result of a history of success. But in real life, a history of success can certainly increase your confidence level; you don’t actually need that history for you to feel confident about yourself always. It’s the inner state of being that encourages you to act confidently.

Self-confidence is understanding that you trust your own judgment and abilities, and that you value yourself and feel worthy, regardless of any imperfections or of what others may believe about you. Everyone admires a self-confident person. We may even envy them a little! Self-confident people seem at ease with themselves and their work. They invite trust and inspire confidence in others. These are attractive characteristics. It’s not always easy to be confident in yourself, particularly if you’re naturally self-critical, or if other people put you down. But there are steps that you can take to increase and maintain your self-confidence.

Self-efficacy and self-esteem are sometimes used interchangeably with self-confidence, but they are subtly different. We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others like us) mastering skills and achieving goals. This encourages us to believe that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed. It’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges and to keep going in the face of setbacks.

For example, in public speaking, many people have the knowledge and skill to write a speech that an audience would enjoy, and practiced in private, they may even do a decent job to make sure they feel confident before giving a speech. But not everyone can confidently speak in a crowd because they lack self-confidence. That inner state of certainty is not there. Even if you’re extremely skilled and talented, a lack of self-confidence can prevent you from performing at your best in pressure situations. Another example, if you work for a sales company or sale your personal products, in learning how to build your self-confidence to make sales, it’s one thing to read a book and learn and understand some new sales techniques. But it’s a very different challenge to actually go out and apply those techniques when face-to-face with a prospect. The major limiting factor often is not a lack of knowledge or practice but rather the limiting beliefs that you can’t expect to perform well the first few times….it’s what they called a self-fulfilling prophecy in Psychology.

But the key in the art of building confidence lies in a quote coined by Albert Einstein, who said “Imagination is more powerful than Knowledge” Which means even when you have all the knowledge in the world about a particular something and you still lack self-confidence, you’re in to fail. But in a situation where your knowledge tells you to expect failure, you have the ability to consciously direct your imagination to override that impulse and feel certain of success anyway. It’s your imaginations that transcend your knowledge into accomplishment. So, whatever you imagined about yourself or in your life is what you’re going to manifest.

Most people let their imaginations run on default, so they sometimes see themselves succeeding but they also worry about failure at some points. This is like trying to drive a car by pushing the accelerator and the brake at the same time. For you to feel self-confidence you must focus your mind to see only one outcome, the one of you performing at your best. If you catch yourself worrying i.e mentally rehearing failure, you need to immediately take your foot off that brake and focus on the accelerator. No matter how many times you catch yourself worrying or contemplating failure, just keep refocusing and reconditioning your mind on the image of what you want to accomplish.

Dealing with Overconfidence Feelings

Most people are trapped by the feelings of overconfidence which make them fall out of track while pursing their goals. But in order to avoid this problem of overconfidence, let your decision to condition a state of confidence be subservient to your logic, reason, and common sense. You have to keep your Ego in check to know when you’re acting out of alignment and refocus back to your true nature. Your confidence shouldn’t work against you, rather it should be working for you to increase your level of success in every project you wish to accomplish at any given time.  If you feel confident that you will perform well on a big new project you set for yourself. You can this as excuse to under-prepare. But there are times when you’ve done all you need to get yourself into the most emotionally resourceful state possible. Whenever you have to perform under pressure is a good time to put yourself into a state of confidence whether you’re giving speech, sales call, an audition, an interview, an exam, etc.

Thus, be careful not to over-rely on your self-confidence to save you by using it as an excuse to procrastinate on preparation on a given project. But on the other hand, it’s amazing just how far confidence alone can get you. When I was going through college, I often didn’t have as much time to prepare for exams as I would have liked. But I was really good at putting myself into a state of certainty of success right before the exam, regardless of how well-prepared I felt intellectually. And this state of confidence was often enough to allow me to perform well, even when I had barely studied the material. Because I expected to do well (via my imagination, not my knowledge), my subconscious mind found a way to fulfill that vision. Often this came in the form of creative solutions. For example, if I took a math test and didn’t remember the formula that was intended to be used to solve a particular problem, my subconscious mind would find an alternate way to solve the problem using what I did know — because I was in a state of total certainty of success, I had the fullest possible access to all my internal resources, including the ability to solve problems in ways I wasn’t consciously aware of.

Confidence is not a panacea. But being able to make yourself feel certain of success can give you a massive edge in many endeavors. Confidence is often the deciding factor in making a sale, closing a deal, acing a test, nailing an audition, getting a date, being hired or promoted, or making the team. And a lack of confidence can put you into the decrepit state where even though you have the intellectual resources to succeed, you don’t even make the attempt — you fail to ask for the sale, the raise, the date, etc. Sometimes just summoning the confidence to ask is all it takes to achieve a successful result.

What more could you accomplish if you added the tool of confidence to your arsenal of skills, consciously directing your imagination away from visualizing negative outcomes and 100% on creating a feeling of certainty of success?

Until Next Time, Live Exceptionally!!!

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