To live an exceptional life, one must understand and accepts the reality of his or her life circumstance as there are right now without pretends or denial. We primarily grow as human beings by discovering new truths about ourselves and reality. On every area of our lives, we’ve the option of facing the truth willingly or keep living in denial of the truth. And when we lingered in the state of denial for so long, we often risk having the truth force upon us by true nature of reality. Our external world will eventually prove us wrong.
You will certainly learn some important lessons no matter how you live each day of your life, but you can honestly accelerate your growth in every aspect of your life tremendously by consciously seeking truth and deliberately turning away from falsehood and denial. Which part of your life can benefit from you being more truthful to yourself? Is it your health, relationship, career or your financial situations? Is there any part of your life were you sense you’ve been avoiding facing the complete truth about it? Which part of your life do you feel you’ve failed to look into lately?
Another way to think about this, is to ask yourself, where in your life do you experience the greatest degree of procrastination? What are you putting off lately? What do you avoid looking at in your life? Whatever you found fear looking into or unwillingness to face the truth about could be that some part of you doesn’t really want to know the truth. I’m not saying that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes you might find ignorance more attractive than completely accepting the reality as it is.
Genuine personal growth is honest. You can’t take shortcuts through the land of make-believe. Your commitment on living an exceptional life must be to discover and accept new truths, no matter how difficult or unpleasant the consequence may be. You can’t solve problems if you don’t admit they exist. How can you achieve a fulfilling career if you won’t admit that your current job is wrong for you? How can you improve your relationship situation if you refuse to accept that you’ve been feeling empty and alone? How can you better your health if you won’t accept that your current poor habits don’t serve you?
Understanding the true nature of reality is the ultimate arbiter of truth. If your thoughts, beliefs, and actions aren’t aligned with truth, your result will suffer. When you align yourself with the truth, your troubles won’t fix themselves overnight, but you’ll be taking an important step in the right direction because you’ve chosen to know the truth. But you’ve to keep this in mind, when you’re facing the truth about your life situation, don’t worry about how to handle it afterwards. Facing the truth should never be conditional upon you knowing how to handle it contingency in advance.
When you deny your problems, you turn away from the truth. The lies you tell yourself grow more lies on a daily basis, infecting your mind with falsehoods that weave themselves into your identity. You become disconnected from your true self, living as a mere shadow of brilliant being you were meant to be. You aren’t here to endure such existence. You’re here to learn how to create a life of your own choosing by yourself. It’s not for me to say what that life should look like, but I will do my best to help you figure it out.
Imagine a smoker saying, yes I know that smoking is wrong for me, I know is killing me, but at least for now I don’t see a way to successfully quit smoking, so I’m going to keep doing it. Or imagine someone on an outdated relationship, acknowledging that the relationship needs to end, but they don’t see a possible way of breaking up yet. What do they usually get? Denial, right? People say no, smoking is okay, it’s not killing me or I’m not that addicted. Or they are in a relationship; ooh the relationship is not that bad. We often see most people ignoring the truth and continue doing what’s wrong for them.
You see, once you started accepting the truth, even if you don’t like what you see at that moment, it will help you become much more clearly headed. You’ll gain access to mental resources you never know you had. You’ll start thinking clearly. So, it’s okay to ignore your weakness and yet to continue succumbing to them. Just say to yourself, I know this is wrong for me but right now I lack the strength, the knowledge or the resources to change it. Then you can direct your energy on the intention to eventually fine the strength to make the changes you need to make, whatever there may be. And by then, you will start saying no to things you’ve to say no to, and yes to the things you actually want for yourself.
It’s better to face the truth even when it seems easier or hard. Stop pretending. Don’t pretend you like the job you actually dislike. Don’t pretend you’re happy being in an unfulfilling relationship you don’t like. Don’t pretend your health is okay when it’s not. If you want things to be easier for you, you’ve to complain to yourself and start accepting the truth. Nothing is going to change you until you do that first.
But once you surrendered to what it is, to what the truth of the matter is. You’ll then finally begin to create what you want in your life. The truth has to come first. When you accept the whole truth of whatever situation you found yourself in, you’ll then be in a position to make the better decision because it will now base on reality instead of unwishful thinking or denial or ignorance. And surrounding to the truth will also help you manifest the motivation, the energy, the ideas and the resources that you need to act on the truth, because you’ll be no longer wasting so much energy maintaining an illusion.
Two Methods of Facing the Truth
1.The simple writing exercise: Go over each area of your life and simply write a paragraph about each one of them. You would ask yourself question on each of them, like how am I doing in this area of my life right now? For example how am I doing financially right now? How am I doing physically right now? You don’t have to be particularly structured about this, just write whatever comes to your mind. Now after writing each paragraph, the second thing to do is give the each area of your life a numerical rating on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means this area is practically down and couldn’t get much worst and 10 meaning that your result in this area are good in the sense you can’t even imagine it. For example, in your finance, 1 mean you’re heavily in debts, broke or you’ve little income, and 10 mean that you’ve achieve financially independent. Now you’ve written them in paragraph and rate them from 1 to 10, you’ll know how you’re doing on each area of your life. You’ll gain clarity on which part is going and which part is going bad. And this will help you know where to invest more time and energy versus those parts you can minimize how you work on them.
Now, here is the main list of the area of your life to ask questions. On Work, ask, how am I doing on my work? That’s your career, job or your business right now? On Finance, ask, how am I doing financially? That’s your income, savings, investment, asserts and debts if you’ve any right now? On Relationship, ask, how am I doing in my relationship? That’s the type of relationship you have or you want to have right now?
On Home and family, ask, how am I doing with my home and family members? That’s your home life and the relationship with the other members of your family right now? On Physical body, ask, how am I doing physically? That’s your diet, exercise habit, stain free from diseases and overall your energy level right now? On Mentality, ask, how am I doing mentally? That’s your knowledge, education, talents and skills right now? Are you learning new ideas and developing new skills and talents right now? On Social life, ask, how am I doing socially? That’s your friends and social experiences, networking with other people, belonging to social clubs and organizations right now?
On Emotions, ask, how am I doing emotionally? That’s how you feel generally about your life right now? Are you feeling positive and optimistic or negative and pessimistic right now? Are you paying enough attention to the warning signs of negative emotions? On Spirituality, ask, how am I doing spiritually? That’s your religious beliefs and philosophy of life, which includes your sense of purpose and overall level of clarity of your existence in your place in the universe right now.
On Character, ask, how am I doing character wish? That’s, how strong is your sense of integrity, honesty, your courage, your sense of honor and your level of discipline right now? On Contributions, ask, how am I doing in contributing to others? That’s, are you giving something of value to the world? Do you feel you’re making a difference with your life right now? On Fun and Adventure, ask, how am I doing at fun and adventure? That’s, are you enjoying your life? Are you experiencing what you want to experience in your life right now?
Some people think in a shorter list, that’s thinking only of the body, mind and spirit. You know whatever one is the best for you. I do this in every quarter of the year, that’s four times in a year. It gives me a great deal of clarity on where I’ll be focusing my energy in my life for the next quarter.
2. The second way to get the truth about your life is to get feedback from other people. For example ask your friend you trust for his or her opinion on your relationship, or ask your partner directly how he or she thinks your relationship is going with them. Ask your children, how you’re doing as a father or a mother to them if you have any. After listening to them, then ask them how do you think I can be a better friend, dad, father or mother to them as the case may be? Ask a co-worker or your boss at work on their opinion on your job performance or your future career possibilities? Ask them what they think are your key strengths and weaknesses. You can also consult a professional like financial adviser or medical doctor for your financial and health help. You can also ask for advice in addition of their feedback. One of the best questions you can ask them is, what would you do if you’re me? Or what would you do if you’re in the same financial situation like me?
These questions would help you to begin to face the truth that otherwise you’ve been avoiding for long. Most people are happy you seek their advice, so take advantage of that to figure out the truth about your life. Other people are able to see things that we can’t see clearly for ourselves.
So take advantage of these two exercises, the writing and requesting for feedback from other people. Facing the truth raises your awareness, and running away from the truth lowers your awareness. One of the intelligent things you can do and also will help you tremendously in your personal growth is simply to begin with facing the truth of your life as it is right now. Just accept the reality of where you’re right now. The lesson here is that as soon as you learn the truth, the more prepared you will be to deal with the reality of your situation.
Until Next Time, Live Exceptionally!