Relationship

I choose to write about this topic because our intimate relationships are what determine the outcomes of all we do in life, and consciously transforming it day by day will enhance our outcomes. Conscious Man Transformation could take place at financial level, career level, spiritual level, family level, character level, mental level etc, not only in relationship. But I decided to first start with relationship, and I strongly believed that once the relationship aspect is being taken care of, other aspect or level of life will fall into place. First, we have to become aware of where we are right now in our relationship level, and figure out things that would enable us accomplish more in life to live exceptionally.

As human beings have become increasingly identified with their mind, most relationship are not rooted in their true nature anymore and so turn into a source of pain instead of happiness and become dominated by problems and complicit. Most people are now living alone or as single parents, unable to establish an intimate relationship or unwilling to repeat the insane drama of past relationship. Others go from one relationship to another, from one pleasure-and-pain cycle to another in search of true love or fulfillment through union with the opposite energy polarity. Some other set of people on their own, compromise their values and continues to be together in an unfulfilling relationship in which negativity prevails, for the sake of the children or security, through force of habit, fear of being alone.  

However, every crisis represents not only a danger but also opportunity to grow and become conscious of your relationship level. If relationships energize and magnify egoic mind patterns and activate the pain-body, as they do at this time, why not accept this fact rather than trying to escape from it? Why not cooperate with the truth about the relationship instead of avoiding or pretending it doesn’t exist at the first place? The opportunity that’s concealed within every crisis in a relationship does not manifest until the facts of any given situation are acknowledged and fully accepted. As long as you still deny the problems or the crisis in your relationship, as long as you try to escape from them or wish that things were different, the window of opportunity won’t open for a total conscious transformation, and you would remain trapped inside that situation, which will remain same for a long time or deteriorate further.

With the acknowledgment and acceptance of the facts also comes a degree of freedom from them at the same time. For example, when you know there is disharmony in your relationship and you hold that knowing, through your knowing that a new factor has come in, and the disharmony cannot remain unchanged. When you know you are not at peace with your partner, your knowing creates space that surrounds your non-peace in a loving and tender embrace and then transforms your non-peace into peace by seeking for possible outcome to bring your partner to the same alignment. As far as man’s inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You can’t transform yourself alone, and you certainly can’t transform your partner or anybody else, unless there were enough rooms for acceptance and acknowledgement of the crisis. All you can do is to create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.

Becoming Conscious of Your Relationship

Are you dissatisfied with your intimate relationship right now? Are you wondering why you keep on attracting some certain people in your life and not others? How open are you with your current relationship with your partner? Has the sexual tension in your relationship decreased, and you don’t know why? Are you struggling or dying in pains because you are afraid of being alone? Do you find yourself clinging to your partners, and fearing they may abandon you for another person? Do you have hard time trusting others? If you answer yes to any of these questions you are ready for conscious relationship transformation.  

The outcome of every relationship is often determined by the foundations on which the relationship was built with or started with at the first place. Most guys often used techniques they learned from relationship experts and coach to initiate their first and use it for a long time. They aren’t in alignment with who they are because they think once the outer game is been perfected with techniques everything will move as they planned. They forget and pay little attention to their inner game which is their true self and do exactly what the experts told them to do because of fear.

I’m often amazed at the silly machinations people go through when they are interested in beginning a relationship with someone. Fear causes most guys to miss all sorts of opportunities and overcomplicate things to the point of being ridiculous. Imagine how simple relationships would be if fear were removed from the picture white initiating one. If you like someone, just go tell them and ask if they feel same. How simple is that? in a matter of minutes, you are able to move on one way of the other. When you move beyond your fears, your accuracy will increase as well, so you won’t even ask the question except when you know you are going to get a yes. If you get a no, it just means you misread the other person, but that really isn’t a big deal. Getting rejected unblocks your energy and frees it up to attract someone else that will truly love you.  

The problem with Technique based methods

There are some people who teach men how to relate to woman using a variety of techniques, some of which can be very manipulative and inauthentic. Some of these guys refer to themselves as seduction experts or relationship coach gurus. They tell you what to say and do to get a woman to react in a certain predictable ways. The truth is that many of these techniques work, at least in the beginning. I can attest to that because I’ve seen people demonstrating this stuff right in front of me. But this approach has some major draw backs in conscious man transformation in relationship level. First, the woman you are going to attract with such tricks will likely be very immature and insecure. That’s why those techniques work on them. But hopefully your goal is not to attract insecure girls and have a lot of childish drama in your relationships. You really wouldn’t want to be stuck in a long-term relationship with a woman you can capture like this. A woman who would make a great relationship partner might be curious about you at first, but she will soon be turned off when she discovers that there is not much of a man behind what you projects to her.

However, I must admit that some men are initially helped by these sorts of techniques to gets girls attention which on the other hand, refer it as outer game. Learning some outer game techniques can help most guys move past fear and hesitation and at least start conversation with ladies they find attractive. It’s still a bandage for low self-esteem, but it can help men to take action and start making changes. It gets people started on a path of transforming their social lives, which can be positive development overall, as long as you don’t get stuck at the level of social tactics.

Eventually the men who begin with outer game techniques get frustrated, especially if they have some success with it. They may get good at approaching women, starting conversations with women, and getting dates. Their sex lives may also improve dramatically, but the connections are inauthentic and only inches deep and most of their new relationships usually don’t last more than few weeks. Techniques can open the door, but they aren’t enough to create lasting love and connections that will stand the test of time in long term relationships. But have you ever stop to think about it, why most relationships are not working any longer? People act and think like a programmed machines nowadays. For ladies, when a guy is meeting them for the first, they’re already know what he’s going to say because the techniques in not new for them anymore. The whole thing is just boring; they can’t genuinely find most guys attractive. The outer game is just like what everyone else there is doing because techniques have taken the place of the inner game. How is that helping you so far? Are you comfortable with the result you are getting lately? Are you genuinely confident enough to consciously transform yourself in your relationship level?

I have seen the same in the field of public speaking. Some speakers become masters of technique. They polish their use of vocal variety gestures, and stage blocking. They learn storytelling and word smiting techniques to deliberately shift people’s emotions. They develop amazing stage presence and charisma. But their message remains shallow and derivative. There’s no real substance behind their words. Speaking is treated as a skill that can be used to make money and get applause. In their private lives, these same people tend to be rather miserable. They have the outer game down pat, but the inner game is missing completely. They often feel empty inside and suffer bouts of depression and loneliness often they will disconnect from their feelings by focusing on drugs to keep their motivation high, money and fame to paint the outside white. But they aren’t happy and fulfilled in their relationship.

Techniques do have their place in conscious man transformation in relationship level, but they should serve to enhance who are not using it to cover who you are not. Using techniques is like wearing a mask but you can’t wear it for a long time, once the mask is been removed, the real personality will show up. A collection of techniques shouldn’t serve as a social mask you hide behind while relating with ladies. If a technique makes you feel inauthentic, don’t use it more, because at the end you will miss real opportunity you would have use to connect to your soul mate and build a lasting relationship. Most experts only teach from their own personal experience and what discovered during research, not yours. They never feel your feelings, think your thoughts; rather they want you to use techniques everyone out there is using, not mind of that would work for you at the first place.

Upgrading Your inner Game

Inner game is about developing yourself from the inside. This includes what’s happening in your mind, body, and emotions when you interact with women. The idea here is to build strong character attributes like confidence, courage, honesty, empathy, and high self-esteem. Then, when you interact with women, you will be in the right state of mind because your inner game is strong and always providing you with strength and positive energy. You won’t need to learn a bunch of techniques because when you are coming right from the right mindset, you will naturally say and do things that women would find attractive. Even if you say or do very little at the beginning of your dating process, women will be attracted to who you are on the inside. You won’t be able to help it; rather you will be in flow with the person. How do you feel when you interact with women? Do you feel nervous and suffer from approach anxiety, or do you feel strong and confident? What thoughts are going through your head when you talk to woman? All of these questions have to do with inner game. The level of your inner game will often determine the outcome of your relationship with women.  

So whenever your relationship is not working perfectly as you want it, whenever it brings out the madness in you, be glad. What was unconscious is being brought to light. It is an opportunity to consciously transform it as a man from your inner game plan. Always strive to know the cause of the discomfort in your relationships, particularly that of your inner state. Make sure you list out all the qualities you want your woman to possess; things you admires about her. Don’t just go for any woman you see while attracting someone for a long time relationship, rather thrive to attract the woman of choice. Do you like slim fit girls, fat girls or ladies with hips? Write it down. Visualize yourself having a date with your dream girl. Do you like beautiful white or back ladies? Try to know exactly the kind of woman you wish to attract into your life. Then, get your inner game perfected and go for it.    

Until Next Time, Live Exceptionally!!!

Creating strong and lasting relationship with others is one of the key factors that guarantee lifelong success and exceptional life. But most people don’t pay much attention on developing this art because they think it’s not important. In ages past, a friendship was supposed to be a scared bond between two people. This bond serves a pillar that make friends thrive together to support and help each other accomplish their life goals with happiness. Despite the interconnectedness of our age today, many people still lack friendships that have depth and true understanding.

Many people experience the pangs of loneliness without anyone to turn to. They are locked up in their small life because they have never walked out of their comfort zone to develop strong personality that will attract great friends to them. They never care about their poor habit, character and behavior that pushed others away from creating real relationship with them. Yet a friendship that is true and strong is not a bygone myth, rather it’s been developed consciously through daily positive interactions with others. In today’s world, it’s still possible to create and have a deep last friendship once we’re open to learn the arts that make friendship happen at the first place.

What’s your place in the universe in creating strong friendship that stands the test of times with others? How strong is your connecting ability with others? Are your circle of friendship empowering or disempowering? Are you getting what you want from life when you check the impact of your friends in accomplishing your goals? Do you experience positive vibes and joy after hanging around with your friends? Or you feel drained after spending time with your friends? Are your friends doing much better than you financially? Or you’re the one they see as their motivator financially? Below are five exceptional arts for building strong friendship that will stand the test of times as you thrive to live exceptionally each day.

Acceptance

Acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it brings something entirely new into this world. That peace, a subtle energy vibration, is consciousness. “Eckhart Tolle”

Before you can truly be friends with someone, you must consciously take full responsibility to accept them into your life. Something must attract you to someone before they can become your friends. They must be spirit of acceptance and if you can’t do so, you will always find fault with your friend’s actions or behavior whenever you’re with the person. And this makes it very difficult for your friends to relax or be themselves with you. They will always feel judged by your standards .Such feelings would make them not to openly share all their life experiences with you. On the other hand, if you find yourself judging your friends on a regular basis, such friends may not be the right kind one for you.

 However, real friendship acceptance means, ridding yourself off of any preconceived notions of how your friends should behave whenever they are around you. Successful friendship occurs when your friends tell you that they are happy and comfortable being themselves once they are you with. They often speak positive about your impacts in their personal life and all they do. Whether they are silly, serious, happy or sad, it doesn’t bother you or make you talk less about them. Acceptance is a great gift to bestow upon your friends. You can’t misplace it or ignore it in building true friendship.

Understanding

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.
― J.K. Rowling

Friendship becomes strong and meaningful when those involved understands each other very well. Understanding your friends help you know how to move along with them and express yourself openly with them because understand them. Understanding your friends could mean that you’ve take time to know their strengths and weaknesses. A solid friendship steams from a deep understanding of each other. If you can’t place yourself in the shoes of your friends, you’ll always find it difficult to empathize with them. If you’re not aware of the reasons behind their action, their actions will irritate you on a daily basis. This state of affairs could lead to breakdown in communication between you and your friends. And when that happens, it’s very easy for misunderstandings and problems to arise in the friendship.

True friends understand the reasons behind the actions of their friends. They know what make you happy and sad, and do more of things that make you happy. They know how you think and act whenever things are not in the right state with you. They respect your privacy and choices. They know why you do the things you do and when to come in as friends to support and encourage accomplish your goals. And all these, makes it easier for them to empathize and celebrate with you as their real friend. Make a conscious decision today to truly understand and accept your friends for who they are and make changes where necessary. You’ve the right and choice to choose whoever you wish to keep as a friend. And when you do so without high expectations from them, you’re creating solid foundation for strong friendships.

Trust

Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble.
― Stieg Larsson,

Trust takes a lifetime to nurture and build between friends and can mere take seconds to destroy. Any friendship without trust is like a fish without water; it can’t survive. If you can’t trust your friends, why building friendship with them at the first place? Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally. Trust is something that two people in a relationship can build together when they decide to trust each other. You can’t demand or prove trust; trusting someone is a choice that you make.

Building trust within a healthy relationship happens gradually. How do you know if you should trust someone? This can be a hard question to answer, especially at the beginning of a relationship, but your own instincts about another person and the way they behave over time are two important things to consider when making that decision. Of course, in a healthy relationship it’s important for both partners to trust and be trusted, to open up and be vulnerable with each other. Trust can’t be built if only one partner is willing to do this and the other isn’t. Building trust requires mutual commitment.

If you can’t trust your friends, you’ll always remain guarded in their presence. You would never be open, honest or your true self to someone you don’t trust. And putting on a mask or act on a continual basis is tiring, don’t even try. This false front will create barriers between friends and hinders any strong bond from forming within them. Friendship without trust is hollow and waste of time and effort. Therefore, trust is very important to building deep friendship with others. When there is trust, those involved in the friendship can be honest about their thoughts and feelings to themselves. And being honest doesn’t mean be hurtful on purpose, but both parties can depend and defend each other and watch their back when the going gets tough.

Altruism

Good character consists of recognizing the selfishness that inheres in each of us and trying to balance it against the altruism to which we should all aspire. It is a difficult balance to strike, but no definition of goodness can be complete without it. “Alan Dershowitz”

Altruism is the belief that the well-being of others is equally, if not more, important than the well-being or survival of the self. Further, altruism involves selfless acts or undertakings that put the welfare of others before one’s own. Truly altruistic people do not practice seemingly selfless acts for their own benefit; they do not have ulterior motives, such as a desire to gain recognition, a reward, or even make themselves feel better. Action will always speak louder than words.

By altruism in friendship, I simply mean before you can receive, you must first learn how to give without expectations. You’re always starting the giving process. One who only cares about his or her own self-interest would find it difficult to a deep friendship that will stand the test of times. But in real friendship, both parties will always be willing to give without the fear of losing out.

Altruism is an important principle in building strong friendship that will stand the test of times. It means having the best interest of your friends at heart because you valued and respect their personality for who they are. When you have this kind of mindset, sincerity flows naturally into actions, which will turn out to lay the foundation or cement that will form strong friendship bond. It could take the form of prudent counsel or support when they need it most, or it could be helpful in other area of their lives. When your friends discovered such character in you, they will always turn to you during time of need.

Taking Action

Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.
― Gandhi

Any friendship that has the above exceptional arts as its foundation is likely to be a deep and lasting one. Not all the exceptional for building friendship arts will be easy for everyone to develop at the same time. Most people have difficulty in trusting others, others have problems with acceptance. But since everything you know in life is been learned, it means you can also develop some passion to unlearn ineffective behaviors that could have been holding you back from building friendship. And if you’re able to manage and find friends who stand by you through thick and tough times, treasure them, for they may just be the ones to teach you about the exceptional arts of building real friendship. A deep and lasting friendship takes time, effort, energy and strength to build. And this is why we should start early enough with people whom we feel are worth it building friendship with.

Learn to spend quality time with the right people, those that have the same goals and objectives with you. People who spend time spend time reflecting on the meaning of life and who can accomplish great things through discipline and perseverance. Find someone who knows how to live to teach you the secrets of a rewarding exceptional lifestyle. And don’t be embarrassed about learning and cultivating the friendships of these kinds of people.

Until Next Time, Live Exceptionally!

 

Building conscious intimate relationship consists of two people who are committed to lifelong loving and learning process that would make their relationship survive the test of times. It requires being curious about things and how to always look inwardly to support and encourage each other to be their best in life. Building conscious intimate relationship demands that partners should learn from each other and from the world to strengthen their capacity in decision making. Conscious intimate relationship, affords each other the opportunity and freedom to develop as two unique individuals with looking down on each other.

Those holds on their relationship as a source of happiness rather than source of consciousness will experience increase in pain, violence, confusion and madness when their needs are not been met by their partner.  But once you accepted the fact that your relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will you true salvation and unconditional love, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to born into this world. Your relationship with your partner always reviews the kind of person you are. Are you honest? Are you kind? Are you truthful? Are you encouraging? Are you supportive?

When two people come together to build a conscious intimate relationship with the intention of growth, the relationship evolves towards something much greater than individual satisfaction. They here to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Without growth, they aren’t fulfilling their soul’s purpose. The partnership becomes a journey into a loving evolution that allows both partners to expand and grow more than they could alone. Sometimes, it’s not a perfect linear path but journey you must consciously begin to save your future. The fact that it’s going to be difficult at times and challenge you is exactly what makes it worthwhile.

Building a conscious intimate relationship is not about what you often watched on televisions, read on books, listen to podcast or what a relationship experts teaches you, but it’s all about looking into your life and that of your partner to see what will work out best for you to have a lasting relationship. It’s something you consciously design to align with the kind of person you’re becoming each day and wish to be in future.

If you’re ready to take your experience of love to the next level, below are four dimensions of building conscious intimate Relationship.  Human relationships have four primary dimensions for connecting stages of building conscious intimate relationship: which are; body, mind, heart, and spirit.

Body Connections include anything physical, such as touch, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and sex.

Mind Connections include communicating and sharing ideas; this is the mental or philosophical aspect of a connection.

Heart Connections include the sharing of emotions, including developing feelings for the other person, a sense of intimacy and falling in love.

Spirit Connections include helping each other grow, and a sense that we’re together for a greater purpose, or to share a spiritual journey.

Think about your current relationships, and you’ll realize that each relationship in your life involves some or all of these aspects.

For instance, with a lover you may enjoy a delicious body-heart connection. With a growth-oriented friend, you could enjoy a stimulating mind-spirit connection.

Note also that there are lots of different possibilities to explore depth and variety in each of these dimensions. You could explore a physical connection that only involves casual touch and maybe some cuddling, or you could have the most amazing sex together. You have some quick and basic conversations now and then, or you could spend hours discussing the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

I encourage you to do a quick assessment right now. For each of these 4 dimensions, rate your overall fulfillment in that area in a scale of 1-10. This will help give you a snapshot of which dimensions are already well satisfied and which could use a bit more work. Acknowledging where you’re not feeling too fulfilled is a good step because it will help you align yourself with Truth. Once you’re able to accept where you are, then you can begin clarifying some new desires and moving towards them.

So ask yourself, right now, in my life, where am I in each one of these four dimension of building conscious intimate relationship? How satisfied am I on of the dimensions? What kind of connection type would am I lacking that I need to be more conscious about?

When I asked myself this very same question, I realized that most of my relationships were at the BODY and MIND dimensions. I had become very good at this kind of relationships. But what I really wanted, what my heart was longing for, was HEART and SPIRIT type of connections. I was longing for that emotional closeness, the feelings of connection, and vulnerability. It was during this time that I started learning the skills and practices that eventually helped me access my own heart and emotions, and inspired me to connect with my partner perfectly.

These four dimensions of connection complement each other synergistically, so the more dimensions that are introduced, the stronger the connection can be. A good heart connection creates high trust and caring, which makes communication more honest and authentic (no need to try to impress the other person, for instance). A nice body connection (like from cuddling) creates feelings of closeness and intimacy, which also makes it easy to open up more.

Creating Alignment with the Four Dimensions

body-mind-heart – This type of connection has good physical chemistry, stimulating communication, and some nice emotional depth. This could be a very enjoyable way to connect, and it may feel really good, but we’re not really helping each other grow much. Even though it wouldn’t be a major growth experience, I’d openly accept more of these connections. With a strong body-mind-heart connection, the spirit element may soon follow, so this could easily tip into a 4D connection. These types of connections can still make me feel very loved and supported.

body-mind-spirit – This connection has good physical chemistry, stimulating communication, and strong growth potential. But there isn’t a big emotional connection (i.e. not much love). It’s harder for me to want to invite this kind of connection since I’m very open-hearted and normally attract other open-hearted people with ease, but in some circumstances I could see this as a possibility to explore because of the positive growth aspect. This connection could take the form of a connection with someone who’s a bit emotionally closed or wounded, and our connection may serve as part of their healing process. It could also show up as sexual play partner where we learn a lot from each other in that dimension, but there wouldn’t be much love. The heart aspect is pretty important to me, so exploring this type of connection would be a bit of a stretch for me.

body-heart-spirit – This connection has good physical chemistry, lots of emotional depth, and growth potential. But we don’t connect much mentally. I’d be okay with this connection and could even actively invite it. I have no shortage of mental connections in my life, so it’s not a problem for me to experience a connection that doesn’t offer much in the mental aspect. I expect I’d actually find this kind of connection refreshing at times — a chance to experience a more raw form of intimacy without the mental chatter. I’d just need to be careful that the other person wasn’t so mentally incompatible with me that it kills our ability to connect in the other dimensions.

mind-heart-spirit – This connection has stimulating communication, emotional depth, and growth potential. But it doesn’t involve much touch or physicality. This is as deep as I go with my male friends. I have many connections of this nature in my life right now, with men and women alike, and I appreciate them very much. These people are good friends that care about me, resonate with my purpose, and encourage me to keep challenging myself. I’m open to more of these connections, but they show up pretty well on their own, so I don’t necessarily need to actively invite more of them. That said, I’m still moderately open to more connections of this type. They can be pretty rich and fulfilling.

body-mind-heart-spirit – The ultimate connection is four-dimensional. This connection is truly fantastic — good physical chemistry, great communication, emotional depth, and growth potential. Our bodies give and receive pleasure. Our minds co-create and share ideas. Our hearts radiate love. And our spirits take an empowering journey together. For me this connection can only happen with a woman you’re building your future together.

Conscious intimate relationships understand that each partner has a need for both security and freedom, and they allow each other these freedoms with mutual respect, trust, and understanding in order to grow. And with the four dimensions shared above, I believe you will start building a conscious intimate relationship. If you haven’t start one already, a conscious intimate relationship that will help you enhance connection with Body, Mind, Heart and Spirit. Such relationship will help you live happily and motivates you to go for life dreams.

Do I know what it would look like? I don’t know! Until you try!

Until Next Time, Live Exceptionally!